Drops of Blood
by mainekosan
Summary: A collection of drabbles. Most focus on Schwarz, especially Schuldig, but everybody makes an appearance sooner or later. They cover genres from serious to not so serious, some are general and some feature various pairings mm, mf and other permutations.
1. Aesthetic  Schuldig

The hour was chosen for the expected best result - most will be asleep at 2am. Plenty of casualties.

Schuldig looks into the sky: stars are dimmed by a thick fog of artificial lighting surrounding the city. Shame. He loves pretty shiny things. Well, this will be beautiful too.

Flames lick the windows of the residential building. Soon it turnes into an inferno - people screaming, cracking of the windows, floors collapsing. Schuldig stares at the fire, swirling his green strands.

Sparkles of regret gradually turn into a firm decision.

He really should go back to his previous hair colour.

END


	2. Not Home Nagi

It sounded like a good idea, Nagi thought, poking at strange, greasy food. World to conquer, promised Crawford. Living on other people's money in exotic places like France, Spain and America (Schuldig even had photos of the villas).

Nobody will be safe - that was Farfarello's selling pitch.

He just knew it wasn't safe to stay behind alone.

He was sick on the flight out of Japan. People were rude and even more annoying than the ones he was used to. Places were strange. He miss... No. He hated Japan less.

Nagi opened the laptop and wrote his reply:

_"Yes, Takatori-san."_

END


	3. Then I Met You Schwarz

**A WINNER**

Bandages, thin enough to be hidden by clothes. Long sleeves in the middle of summer were inconvenient, but they hid bruises (as did the scarf he wore around his neck). Dressed strangely again, but better this than showing them your weaknesses.

As he entered the school-yard of the Talented Children's Institute he couldn't believe his luck. New prey has arrived and the wolves were already picking on them instead.

But then the impossible happened - the pack leader ended up crushed by a tall new guy. Regime change.

He went to greet the winner. He found a new best friend.

**A FRIEND**

»You, new boy!«

"Yes?"

"I see you beat Nowak. Break nose. Very nice!"

"Eh, thank you?"

"Wanna be friend?"

"Look kid, I don't think…"

"I will help you, you will help me, good for all."

"I think I'll pass on that offer. Why don't you go look for someone your age? Besides …"

"Ich bin kein Mädchen!!!"

" … oh."

"It's just, your hair … stop glaring at me! Hey, how'd you know what I was thinking?!"

"Secret."

"They weren't kidding. You're one of _those_ guys!"

"Shut up! I hate you! I hate all!"

"Maybe we _can _be friends."

**A KID**

"Go away! Go away now!"

"You can't run from your destiny!"

"Very smooth. Cut the drama, Crawford, and give him the chocolate!"

"Stop meddling and let me handle this."

"Sure, preach him about the fortune and fame …"

"You're frightening him."

"I don't think so. He thinks he's imagining me. I look like a fantasy character to him. Must be my beauty."

"Blue hair more likely."

"You, on the other hand, scare him. Right, kid? Want some candy?"

"I'm a child not an idiot. Candy rots your teeth. Now go away!"

"You can't read him at all, can you, Schuldig?"

**A PET**

"I heard it bit general Strauss and then pissed on that nice persian in his office!"

"You should know, you listen to all the useless gossip."

"Aren't you concerned – maybe it'll break out of chains and eat you for dinner. Or a snack. A small snack."

"I can still grow taller. You will never grow a brain."

"Hey, I'm smart enough! And sexy. And tall."

"Crawford's taller."

"Still not over your childhood crush?"

"Stop projecting and grow up. Now get away from the window; we are not supposed to be seen."

"Stop nagging. Heh."

"You are still not funny, Schuldig." .

**END**

Ich bin kein Mädchen: German: "I'm not a girl!"


	4. Pets Schwarz

**SCHULDIG'S NEW PET**

A Scared little pup. Crawford couldn't wait to get rid of it. This was one responsibility he would gladly duck. Schuldig already owned a mini-ZOO of street animals; what was one more? Crawford assessed his acquisition again: big hungry eyes, scrawny, dirty and full of fleas. Perfect. The scruffier they looked when found, the better (Schuldig had a strange sense of aesthetics).

Schuldig greeted him at the door and, as predicted, took to the mutt immediately.

»How cute! Come Boy! Here Boy! Here Boy!«

The poor thing shivered, but Crawford pushed it inside.

»What's his name?« Schuldig asked.

»Naoe Nagi.«

**TIGER'S STRIPES**

Things were great for a while. Nagi was very presentable, after he was bathed and fed-up a bit. Show-room material, actually. Good character, too. He could be trained to do anything for cookies, he obediently fetched newspapers, didn't chew on the furniture and if he broke some plates, that could only be expected of a pup.

However, as Nagi grew the deeper layers of his mind slowly revealed itself and his true colours started to show. Stubbornness. Independence. Arrogance. He began to talk back. One day Schuldig realised with shock that Nagi wasn't a puppy after all.

He was a cat.

**CAT NATURE**

Crawford is their wolf. Alpha pack leader supreme. He has just a slight problem: his pack are not little obedient cubs but two stubborn cats and a shark. Still, it works. For now. Schuldig suspects things will change when their kitten grows up.

To the rest of the world he's a tiger. Tamed on the outside, _so perfect for scaring the enemies_. Impressing them: _Look what I can control! All that power… _

You. Can't. Control. A Cat!

Idiots. They are always so surprised when he finally goes for their throats. _Noooo, Crawford! You are our ally! Please, nooo!_

Pathetic.

Humans.

**END**


	5. Gluhen Schuldig Crawford

_Crawford, They're coming!_

_Now? What a timing. Right, let's go!_

Without a word they stood up from the bed and turned to the door.

"Hey!!! Where do you think you're going?!"

All the director got for an answer was a cold look from Crawford as he picked up the small briefcase he never separated from. Schuldig added a little cheerful wave. The screaming accompanied them out of the studio.

"You're fired!!! You're never work in this town again!!! Come back with the costumes, they're re…"

_What a drama queen._

_You wanted to be A Big Star. Button up your shirt._

END


	6. Ownership Crawford Schuldig

**THE WORTH OF A CRAWFORD**

Property. That's what he was to his parents when they gave him away to Rosenkreuz - compensation for help to his father's company. Price - 150.000 $ and silence about some delicate documents. Rosenkreuz wasn't a responsible owner, considering the investment. He was glad when he was sold to Estet (500.000 Swiss Francs, two untrained telepaths and an estate in France).

That job opened his eyes; he soon realized chains looked much better on other people. Now the Elders were gone. For the first time in his life he belonged only to himself.

"Crawford! Get here and fix this!"

Or not.

**OWNERSHIP CONTRACT**

"I'm not signing this."

"Nagi has a water-bed in his guest room ... I'll be off then."

"You are kidding."

Schuldig grinned (particularly evil grin #13 which meant that, no, he was definitely not):

"Not everyone can see the future. I need some guarantees. Especially now."

"It's your fault for getting drunk!"

"You gave me the alcohol! I trusted you!"

"I think it looks nice - ornaments on 'B' are beautiful. Besides, it's hidden by clothes..."

"Sure."

"What if I pay for laser surgery?"

"Ha. I don't want an ugly scar there."

"Give me the bloody paper. And pen."

**TRANSFERAL OF OWNERSHIP**

_I, Brad Crawford, hereby sell my soul and exclusive rights to the use of my body to Devil (official name Andreas Talmann, AKA Schuldig) in exchange for help in obtaining the world (AKA Earth or Terra). I retain limited rights for personal uses of the said body._

_I also promise not to complain about the contents of this contract or Devil's choice of wardrobe (verbally or mentally). Except on my birthday. Failure of compliance will result in a burning of my portfolio._

_The duration of this contract is unlimited (but can be terminated by Devil with no previous notice)._

END


	7. An Awkward Situation Youji

Title:_Awkward Situation_

The Morning After Challenge: Youji / Random Lady Friend / surprise

Rating/Warning: T

Notes/Timeline: somewhere before Youji's (even more) strangle-happy phase

Disclaimer: Characters are not my invention and don't belong to me.

┘

┘

"I thought you meant a _girl_-friend!"

"You can't blame me for wanting two hot guys for my birthday."

"So, the other guy, he's hot?"

"Exotic. Killer body. Just my type."

"And he's fine with this?"

"He's fine with everything. You wouldn't believe ..."

"I don't want to hear it."

"Jealous?"

"No. I'm just not interested in men."

"You don't have to touch him. You both touch me. That's the point. Want another drink?"

"Are you trying to get me drunk? Because it won't work ..."

┘

"Here we are. Another step."

"Sure ..."

"You'll like him, Youji."

"Sure ..."

"Farfarello!"

"Could you tell me why there's an "F" carved in my arm?!"

"You don't remember?"

"You see, my boyfriend ... No! Put the coffee away! This is a new blouse! Nothing happened!"

"Except that. It'll be gone in a week! I was mad at you for passing out and too exhausted after ..."

"You mean you did it _here_?"

"It's my bed."

"Too much information. But why ..."

"It's just his thing. He's ema foreigner/em."

"Yes, Irish ... Bathroom!!! Don't puke on the carpet!!!"

"Have you met before? He wouldn't believe me you do women too."

END


	8. Lost Without You Schuldig

You've been relying on me more and more lately. It's our little secret. You're afraid to tell the others, so you let them think it's vanity that's making us inseparable. In the crowds, on the job, in the mornings when you wake up - you are lost without me. I'm your best friend: safe in my shelter, waiting for a moment when you'll need me, your saviour. It's close - I can feel your fingers, desperately clinging to me.

We meet again.

Hello. Red hair, blue eyes, sharp features. Yes, the smirk now. This is you.

Memories begin to crawl back.

END


	9. My Guilt Ran

I know you. You are the bringer of nightmares, but your hold on me is losing power with each night. I used to wallow in darkness, your nefarious mind trying to make me into you, but I am just and strong. I'll stay on my chosen path even if I die reaching for the goal.

It took me a while to realize it: they come from the other side. _Your _side. They don't count as humans, so their screams stopped frightening me long time ago. Now I revel in them.  
Perhaps, if they are loud enough, they'll wake her up.

END


	10. Meet Your Destiny Schwarz Ran

The rest of the Schwarz died years ago. People didn't expect to live long in his profession, talented ones even less so. In his mid-thirties he had already lived much longer than he expected. Maybe this was his mistake. He never planned for such a long life. But it was amusing that he would die this way. He would laugh if he wasn't in so much pain. The ridiculous samurai finally got his revenge, all because of his own carelessness. He supposed this was the end. He never believed in the after-life. This wasn't the first time he was wrong.

_xxxxx  
_

Ran made it his mission to banish the monsters who threatened her, even if it killed him. It kind of annoyed him that they kept dying on him without his help, but at least he got the last one. The price was worth it: Schuldig was gone for good. It was getting so cold. His life might not have been worth much, but he got rid of them all. 

When he became aware of himself again, he was warm. Very, very warm. The strange place wasn't familiar, however the face staring down at him was. Fury overwhelmed him. 

"You!!! Die!"

_xxxxx_

After he died Schuldig realized that hell actually did exist. At first that fact distressed him, however later, as he escaped Fujimiya (who wouldn't stop trying to kill him - again) and found his Schwarz colleagues, he began to adapt to the situation. Sure, there were still certain un-pleasantries (management kept excusing them as "punishment"), but Crawford assured him that would improve soon. 

"Can't you just overthrow the government?" 

"Patience. We still need a fallen angel to serve as our puppet ruler. There will be one very appropriate arriving tomorrow." 

Nagi tensed. Well, he did sort of miss Mamoru ...

END


	11. Compulsion Sakura Aya

She didn't count on the remaining echos of the command. They appeared in the background, hardly there; she had bigger problems to distract her. Then her life fell back into the routine, her mind relaxing and allowing them in. She was strong. She pushed them in a dark corner. There they grew up. Soon it took all of her energy just to contain them. _Shoot him..._

"No!!!"

Let's make breakfast now... _kill... Aya..._

She had to end it. Sharp scissors. So tempting. A stab and it would all be over...

_"Sakura-chan? What are you doing?"___

_Kill. Aya._

Peace at last.

END


	12. Hunt Farfarello

This was his favourite school: lots of hiding spots around it and so many fresh young things to choose from. No uniforms, so they made a competition out of wearing revealing clothes; trying to act worldly and grown-up, but so pure underneath. Cute little cherries to pick.

Then he noticed it – a kitty in the middle of them. Sunshine caught in it's hair, making it glow like a halo. Perfect.

Knife in hand, he got ready to pounce as a hand grabbed his shoulder.

_"Come on. Let's go home! Crawford had a fit when he saw this!"_

Damn. No luck.

END


	13. A Mission Crawford Schuldig

There is no spoon!

Respectful looking and expensively dressed businessman complained to his waitress (for a forth time that evening). Other guests were starting to notice her incompetence. 

Man's companion wasn't even pretending to hide his glee at her suffering. 

"Complimentary dessert would be nice; no special additives." 

Waitress glared like the man killed her sister or something. 

"Nice uniform. It really shows off your legs! Oh, you won't do that. You don't want to get fired, do you?" 

"At least not before 10.37." 

The waitress stormed off, mumbling something about cursed black Persians. 

Schuldig beamed: "Crawford, that was the best birthday present, ever."

END


	14. The Math Crawford

_"Are you a girl?! You should've fought back!"___

_No chance – four more guys than last week. He was lucky: only twelve bruises. Five lashes to make him tougher. Together with the seventeen punches and twenty-three kicks a monthly record (bested the previous by four).___

_"Just you wait! The new school will turn you into a man!"_

It did. 

He even found a new hobby. 

Two today (eighty-five this year) - thirty and he would surpass his yearly average. He planned on twenty percent increase. Tomorrow should bring the tally up nicely. 

None of the deaths mattered, but every one counted.

END


	15. Sweets For My Sweet Knight Ran

Yuushi can't help but watch him: he's made out of striking contrasts of beauty and strength. So, at first, it's just that. Fascination slowly grows. It's like wishing for the sky. But you don't need to own the sky to admire it. When he notices that Ran likes sweets, he leaves gifts on an altar in front of the idol. Biscuits on the table. Candy in Ran's pockets. Chocolate on the bed. Ran's eyes brighten and that's enough. 

Until one day Ran approaches him: 

"This has got to stop," 

Yuushi's heart shrinks painfully. 

"I don't fit into my pants anymore!"

END


	16. Same Time Crawford Ran

He throws himself at Crawford, who's, as always, ready and eager. Now they can finally fully devote themselves to each other. It feels like they are the only people on the planet – nobody else counts then and there. Both are breathing hard, eyes locked and sweat running down their tense bodies. Sweat looks so good on Fujimiya. It makes his flushed skin glow and at that moment it's the most arousing scent Crawford can imagine. 

'Get a grip, Crawford, I'm not picking up the pieces if he chops you up!' 

Crawford shakes off the reverie and curses Schuldig's abysmal timing.

END


	17. Red Ran Youji

Title: **Red **

Characters/Pairing: **Ran(Aya)/Youji Rating: T**

xxxxx

He couldn't miss Ran's guilty glance at his cropped head.

"Don't worry about it. You couldn't have known it would damage it."

Ran turned away from him again: "It was my stupid wish."

"It'll grow again. And it wasn't stupid. You wear that black thing for me..."

"Hn."

"Hey, I think red hair is sexy too."

Small smile crept on Ran's face.

Red hair was hot.

Several minutes later:

Ran's hand moved over his stomach and down; His breathing was getting heavier... Youji's now slightly annoyed voice interrupted him: "Stop staring at the mirror and come to bed!"

xxxxx

Title: **The Origin of Passion**

Characters/Pairing: **Ran(Aya)/Youji, Schuldig**

xxxxx

Youji's patience was running out fast. Sure, he liked Manx too and he could understand that and that sweet little Irish girl bought a lot of flowers afterward, however Aya staring at Schuldig and in the middle of a mission, that was not only (extremely) pushing it, it was also dangerous.

"It's his fault!"

"You are obsessed with red hair because of him?!"

Youji didn't know if he was more upset or angry (and perhaps turned on but he soon repressed that).

"Yes! No!!! Not like that, you idiot! He made me!"

"..."

Ran stormed out.

Across town Schuldig snickered.

END


	18. Shattering the Glass Schwarz Weiss AU

_AN:/ AU; written for mixing-up team members challenge_

xxx

crash 

Not again! This was not only annoying - it was getting expensive. The newest team member was completely insane and highly destructive. That wasn't entirely bad for an assassin, but it made it extremely difficult for a team leader to deal with him. On top of that, he found an unlikely ally in the previously manageable Schuldig - now he had two crazy, out-of-control killers that spread chaos wherever they went. He was sure everybody was laughing at him back at Rosenkreuz. 

"Hey, Crawford, throw us back the ball!" 

Why oh why couldn't he have chosen that obedient, quiet Irish boy?!

END


	19. Better Late Ken

They knew each other for some months, but he would never dare to make a move on her. She wasn't that shy – a dinner, a bit of alcohol and the next thing he knew it was morning in her bed. 

She smiled at him. 

"It was nice. Man, at the start you were acting like you've never seen a woman before, but that didn't last long…" 

Ken blushed. 

"I…" 

"What? Really? But you're twenty-six…" 

Memories of all the people who deserted him flashed through his mind, mixed with blood and screaming. 

"I've just been busy with other things, I guess."

END


	20. One Death Too Many Farfarello

How embarrassing. He beat a sixty-two-men-strong jakuzza gang, but couldn't avoid a drunk driver. Well, it looked like he'd finally used up all of his lives. Now he was ready for the Judge, the flames, the company of the ones that understood. He was going home. 

Darkness was absolute and it lasted for ages. Then one day the world cracked and light illuminated the reality. For the tiniest moment realization struck and he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. 

After that he got distracted by a juicy worm dangling in front of his beak. It didn't matter now, anyway.

END


	21. The Obstacle Ken Aya

It was their fifth date. Ken looked into Aya's beautiful eyes: he still couldn't believe his luck. If someone had told him even a month ago that this was where he would find his happiness, he would have laughed at them. Now everything was perfect. He didn't even mind that they were taking things so slowly. 

But tonight was finally the night. He planned every detail – flowers, chocolates, a concert, a dinner. Nothing could go wrong this time. He carefully slid his hand forward… 

…Only to feel cold steel touching the back of his neck. 

»Touch her hand and die!«

END


	22. With Best Intentions AU

_AN:/ AU; written for the 'Not Dead' challenge, so someone is alive that actually died in the series. Characters are a surprise._

_Xxxxx_

_"Just remember to wear the outfit I picked yesterday. Try not to be late this time, important people are going to be there..."_

" " 

_"I do wish you'd reconsider your position on Naoe. I know he worked for Father, but he's creepy and people are starting to _talk_; think of the family reputation…"_

" " 

_"…Remember Kimihira-san? Fascinating man. You two should meet. His daughter will be eighteen soon…"_

He was immensely grateful to have her with him. However, at moments like these, a small part of him went back to that faithful day years ago and wished Farfarello had a better aim.

END


	23. Young Omi

_Notes: Two snippets from the life of young Tsukiyono Omi, pre-Weiss._

**JUST YOUR AVERAGE SCHOOL-BOY**

... 

_Female Voice: He's doing better at school.___

_Male Voice: Good. I knew it was a right idea to enroll him. He'll learn how to act like a regular boy there.___

_Female Voice: He needs a chance to be a kid. At least occasionally._

... 

They were right, thought Omi. It was nice to just be normal for a change. He liked ordinary people. His new school-friend Yoshi was teaching him how to break into computer systems and Yoshi's big brother sold the best surveying equipment in Tokyo. 

And those older boys that bothered him the first week? They'll never find the bodies, anyway.

**AN EXTRA HAND**

„Evil Beast, hand over the disc!" 

How rude. There was no need to laugh. 

"Give it to me and I'll spare you!" 

The laughter only got louder. Forget it. He could see it in man's front pocket. 

His aim was perfect, as always. The man went down like a ton of bricks. A ton of something, anyway, thought Omi. Right on his stomach. Great. Just how was he supposed to get it now?! He tried to slip his hand under him. Then turn him around. Fantastic. Now he pulled a muscle. 

Tomorrow he'll ask Manx to get him some help.

_END_


	24. Hop, Hop, Hop Weiss

Omi carefully attached the satiny pink ribbon with 'I ♥ Aiko' around the bunny's neck while Youji and Ken watched with amusement. 

"I'm sorry, Aya, he's too heavily guarded, it's the only way! We were lucky he ordered flowers." 

"...And a bunny!" Added a snickering Youji. 

Aya glared at him. 

"Don't forget the song!" 

Aya wasn't sure if Ken was making fun of him or trying to be helpful, so he graced him with one of his frozen stares just in case. 

Then he grabbed the bouquet, straightened his ears, fluffed his fuzzy tail and hopped into the night.

END


	25. The Difference SchuldigCrawford

_Warning: Character death._

**THE DIFFERENCE**

Schuldig knew a lot about dying. Knife wounds, shot wounds, strangulation, drowning, electrocution, poisoning, internal injuries from beatings or telekinesis, more or less natural strokes, getting mauled by animals, drug over-dose. He'd seen them all, caused a good number of them and enjoyed every single one. Enemies, targets or completely random strangers, each different, each delicious. Last gasps, expressions, desperate screams just before: he kept details of them as souvenirs. 

So this wasn't anything new at all. 

But, still, Crawford's body was resting lifelessly in his lap and he couldn't even _move_. This death – it was all wrong. It _hurt_.

_END_


	26. Home Cooking Aya Ran

Strong scents of food overwhelmed his senses as soon as he stepped into the apartment he shared with his sister. After he entered the kitchen he could see her stirring the contents of a pot, total concentration on her face while she stared at the boiling soup as if the faith of the world would depend on it's contents.

Aya-chan noticed him and smiled brightly, her every gesture expressing welcome: "I found a new recipe, brother!"

He smiled back.

"I can't wait to try it out!"

He was really home now. Everything was perfect.

Well, almost. Aya's cooking was horrible.

END


	27. Changing Myself for You Schuldig Mamoru

And they call _me_ mad. Maybe I am, doing this. I could be sipping beer on a tropical beach… Double-crossing bastard, leaving me here… I'll show you unnecessary dead-weight! Could be worse - job's the usual and the extra stuff… well, that's not much of a stretch either. The kid's cute. Or would be if he wasn't CRAZY. Sure, I'm flexible; leather coats are fine, but some things… 

It's difficult to maintain the illusions and I never know what to expect. Never would've guessed he'll let me mess up with his head. 

"Ouka, are you home?" 

My cue, got to go!

END


	28. Youji's Smut Ran

So that's was where Youji always disappeared. This was where the fertilizer was supposed to be! It's not like he didn't have most of the nights off for such disgusting magazines; now he had to keep them in the flower shop?! The guy was out, so there was no chance of yelling at him, but Aya had a better idea (some would call it strong and violent impulse). A couple of minutes later the offending material was dealt with. He left the pieces (with surprising amount of red) for Youji to sweep up and went up to polish his katana.

END


	29. The Biggest Fan CrawfordSchuldig Farfare

**THE ENTREPRENEUR**

Of course it's risky. That's the point. The pay-off should be worth it. Both hard cold Yen and getting one over Crawford. I don't understand the interest but who am I to argue? First there was Takatori's secretary; once the word got around I was swamped with offers for copies. It almost made me a bit jealous. But then, I could happily live without knowing that I was a hot-wet fantasy material for the likes of Hirofumi or that slob from legal department. Yuck. 

And all I needed was a water-proof spy camera, a bit of luck and a strong stomach. 

**YOU KNOW MY ACCOUNT NUMBER…****  
**

Nagi couldn't believe how easy it was to get some footage of Crawford showering (it was almost as strange as realising there was a vast and well-paying market for it). Once he got over the fact that it was _Crawford_ he could even admit the man looked OK – just the right poses, nice effects with the water; it was as good as watching any professional models. Not that Nagi watched things like that. Ever.  
Yes, it almost looked like he was posing for the camera… 

Huh, now he was writing something on the misted glass… just a bit of zoom…

_END_


	30. The Enterprise Nagi Crawford

**THE ENTREPRENEUR**

Of course it's risky. That's the point. The pay-off should be worth it. Both hard cold Yen and getting one over Crawford. I don't understand the interest but who am I to argue? First there was Takatori's secretary; once the word got around I was swamped with offers for copies. It almost made me a bit jealous. But then, I could happily live without knowing that I was a hot-wet fantasy material for the likes of Hirofumi or that slob from legal department. Yuck. 

And all I needed was a water-proof spy camera, a bit of luck and a strong stomach. 

**YOU KNOW MY ACCOUNT NUMBER…****  
**

Nagi couldn't believe how easy it was to get some footage of Crawford showering (it was almost as strange as realising there was a vast and well-paying market for it). Once he got over the fact that it was _Crawford_ he could even admit the man looked OK – just the right poses, nice effects with the water; it was as good as watching any professional models. Not that Nagi watched things like that. Ever.  
Yes, it almost looked like he was posing for the camera… 

Huh, now he was writing something on the misted glass… just a bit of zoom…

_END_


	31. Dressing Up NagiOmi

"I don't see what's your problem." 

"There are some things I won't do. First, the dress ..." 

"It's not like I expected you to wear it in public. Just for us." 

"I know. I kind of liked it, actually ... It was cute and you said I had nice legs. That was the first compliment I got from you." 

"Oh ... I'm not good with words." 

"Then came make-up." 

"You could have told me it bothered you. But you used it!" 

"It's not like I've never done it before; anyway ..." 

"Then what?" 

"Nagi, what on Earth made you buy me a blue wig?!"

END


	32. Brad the Brave CR CS

He planned his life towards this. Masses at his feet, his word as the only law – complete power.  
Schwarz surrounded him, Farfarello right, Nagi left and Schuldig (quietly) kneeling on the step of his throne. That poisonously green body-suit clashed with decor, but even he wasn't powerful enough to get rid of it. 

Silk-wrapped Abyssinian stepped forward offering refreshments and… pulled a katana out of thin air and charged for him. 

He woke with a scream. 

»You look ridiculous when you pout.« 

»…« 

»I'm, sorry, OK?« 

»…« 

»I'll wear that red kimono for you… come on… My Mighty Lord…« 

»Shut. Up. Schuldig«

END


	33. My Role Model Mamoru

_Challenge: Historical Perspective_

Xxxxx

**MY ROLE MODEL**

"…His parents and siblings were assassinated by terrorists so he had to take over the small family business. He made it into the biggest company in the world. He got married to his childhood sweetheart and they had a son. Then she was assassinated, too. At forty-two he became our most successful prime minister. He was hard on crime and the economy flourished under his government. In his fifties he was succeeded by his son Takatori Nagi and he retired to manage his charities. When I grow up I want to be just like him!"

"Thank you, Yamasaki. Good work!"

_END_


	34. In Retrospect YoujiCrawford

Youji cringed when he saw him for the second time. He prided himself on being memorable; in this case he could live without it. Then the guy winked at him. Damn. A foreign diplomat, he said. He figured he'll be history the moment he left the hotel room. Ha. 

Is it a bad etiquette to kill your one-night-stand? Ah, looks like it isn't. Better follow his lead. Fuck, Kritiker would kill him if they found out... Presuming there was anything left to kill. 

After that, Youji established one important rule for dating: No men. They just try to kill you later.

END


	35. Introduction to Torture Schwarz

"No!" 

"We all went and we survived. You'll live." 

Sound of a table being dragged to the door could be heard from the locked room. Ridiculous gesture, considering Nagi could remove it in a second, but Schuldig obviously wasn't thinking clearly at the moment. 

Farfarello offered helpfully: "It doesn't hurt at all." 

Door remained closed. 

"Rosenkreuz made me go when I was ten," muttered Nagi, then called out to Schuldig: 

"It's really not painful." 

Simultaneously he visualized white coats, needles and strange drills. 

Schuldig screamed. 

That shattered Crawfords (very limited) patience: 

"You _better_ be at the dentist in an hour!"

END


	36. Employee of the Month

With the last specks of Estet obliterated, Kritiker had outlived its usefulness. So Nagi went to work. First the information systems, data bases and funds. Then the personnel. He started at the top, as any reasonable man would. Mamoru seemed shocked (for the whole five seconds he had left); betrayed by his family and deserted by his team, yet still so naìve and trusting. Such people didn't deserve to live anyway. The organisation will be ripe for the picking now. 

He sank in the cushioned executive's chair and speed-dialed #1. 

»You can return now. I'm finished with the Spring cleaning.«

END


	37. Maybe Blue Schuldig Crawford

He had to cut it. The ends were skorched, some gone completely, some in such ridiculous shape even he couldn't show them in public. 

It could be worse. Rosenkreuz agents usually took much more. 

Red strands were spread all over the floor and he felt much lighter. He almost couldn't recognise himself in a mirror. This was a fresh new start. Maybe he should colour it again. 

Frafarello was gone for good, now Nagi was gone too and Crawford… 

»Would you get out of the bathroom already! I have to take a piss!« 

…Was still as present as ever. Schuldig smiled.

END


	38. Two Sides Mamoru Nagi

Kritiker needs you. 

_You need me. It's so wonderful to be wanted and I want you back but I don't want to scare you. _

You belong here. 

_With you. This is where I want to be. _

With your help we can make a difference. 

_I can give you the world if you want it. _

You can expect to be well compensated for your efforts. 

_Can you imagine just how much I want? How much I need? I'm sure you can't. I want all of you and to be everything you'll ever need. It's too much. I need to get away. _

xxxxx 

Kritiker needs you. 

_You need me. I can feel it, almost touch it - your presence is sticky and it's choking me. Can't you see I despise you? _

You belong here. 

_Don't insult me. _

With your help we can make a difference. 

_Of course you can. Anyone could. But what can you do for me? _

You can expect to be well compensated for your efforts. 

_Can you give me the world? I won't settle for less. Stop swallowing me with your eyes! This can never work. Stop being so needy – you're tempting me in all the wrong ways. Well…_

"Yes."

END


	39. Schuldig's New Clothes Crawford Schuldig

When Crawford first got Schuldig out of The School, he was utterly unprepared for the outside world. Even a clothes shop threw him off. 

"They are in colours! What should I pick?" 

"Anything you want. These little tags? This is the price. You have five hundred Marks." 

Schuldig went after the clothes like a bored housewife on the first day of a sale. When he was back with his loot, Crawford cursed himself for not using his sight before. These clothes made his eyes hurt and the thought of looking at them repeatedly… He shuddered. Those shirts were practically _screaming_!

xxxxx

The School was good in educating them about killing, spying and torturing. But they didn't prepare the students for the outside life at all. Schuldig had obviously no idea how to pick a piece of clothing that would be appropriate to wear in public. Crawford promised he could choose his wardrobe himself, but there was a point when intervention was necessary. 

"Schuldig, you can't wear a skirt. Only women do." 

"Oh." 

Schuldig separated it from the pile and dove in for another, much shorter version. 

"So _this_ isn't OK, either?" 

Crawford stared. His glasses misted. 

"No, we'll take this one."

END


	40. Courting OmiKen

_Characters: Nagi, Crawford/Schuldig;_

_Notes: Nagi is very very young here._

Xxxxx

**APPLICATION OF A METHOD**

Nagi slammed the door behind him, fist tightly clenched around a box of pain-killers. He just couldn't believe it. It worked for Schuldig _every single time_.

Crawford was still chuckling when Schuldig entered his office. The telepath frowned. 

»What's with Nagi? He's sulking outside. « 

Crawford's laughter got louder. 

»He tried to blackmail me. For a raise. « 

That _was_ sort-of funny. 

»So, what does he have on you? « 

That did it. 

After Crawford finally composed himself, his answer was as cryptic as usual: 

»Nothing. But do be careful with him for the next week. He announced he'll be having migraines. «

_END_


	41. A Takatori Wife

_**Mamoru's Bride**_

The bride could hear sounds from the next room. Almost time. She straightened an invisible crease in her expensive kimono and checked her make-up for the last time. This was supposed to be the wedding of the year and she had to look as good as possible. Had to make her family proud. They picked such a nice man for her. 

Mamoru-san was kind, considerate and very romantic, so unlike the picture that was painted of him in the press lately. She was sure they'll have a wonderful marriage. She couldn't be happier. So just why was she absolutely terrified? 

_**Just Another Day at the Office…**_

Mamoru stands up at six. He exercises, showers and eats his breakfast. These days he takes coffee. It's catching. After that he reads the news and reviews the summaries of Kritiker's reports. At half past eight he drives to work. Is driven to work. He decides about fates of others, signs important documents and makes sure his wealth remains _his_. He mingles with important people, a mask of polite smile firmly on, gives speeches, drinks toasts to happy and successful future. Usually he's home at ten. Today he had to put in an extra hour over-time with his new wife.

_**Love at First Sight**_

He hated doing this. He used every source available, checked everything: financial and medical reports, comprehensive studies of family and friends, lists of connections, of allies and enemies. Photos. Plain, plainer, the plainest. The bed was covered with files. It was well past midnight before he found the perfect candidate. A respectable family that will bring more influence but won't be strong enough to interfere, the girl sheltered, obedient, boring (Schuldig's commentary) and above all, fertile (Crawford demanded a fortune for checking that particular futures).

He kicked the sleeping body next to him: »Hey, Mamoru, I've found you a wife!«

_**END**_


	42. Rites of Passage Schwarz

_**A NON EVENT**_

"This should be more glamorous." 

Crawford smirked: "A Historical mansion on a deserted hill-top. Or a cave, with thousand black candles…" 

Clerk ignored them and continued typing the application answers into a plain looking computer (remarkable only because it used the only working windows version outside of the Bill Gates' residence. 

Schuldig sulked: "I expected some sort of a ceremony!" 

"This isn't a movie." 

Secretary cut in: "Sign here. Good. Now remember the rules – one evil deed a week, if it influences a whole country you are in the contention for our yearly award. Welcome to the Super-villains club!"

_**THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR**_

If Schuldig wasn't such a hardened criminal he would cry. Instead he grinned and left the crying to his present. Crawford appeared pleased with his reaction. 

"Freshly picked, the loudest from the bunch at the flower shop!" 

Schuldig was truly touched, more so when he unwrapped Nagi's gift. 

"Is it?!" 

Nagi blushed. 

"It's just an old, used thing. Seemed right for the occasion." 

Candle-lit room, decorated with items Farfarello (dashing in scarlet and gold) acquired, offered the appropriate festive atmosphere. Schuldig approached the girl and put the katana to a good use. Schwarz clapped. It was a wonderful first kill.

_**END**_


	43. Surprise! YoujiCrawford

He was slowly retreating through his victim's apartment. Job done, now just the retreat, a shower and maybe a drink before bed. Suddenly he heard voices. Damn. He wasn't dealing with a crowd alone. He hid in a small bathroom. 

One moment he was beside the shower, the next he was pulled behind its curtain. 

»Weiss, nice of you to drop by.« 

He began to struggle but his wire was out of reach, his arms pinned. 

Funny. Youji never imagined he'll finish with Crawford in the shower. But he wasn't surprised that it wasn't anything like in the Sunday's dream.

END


	44. Airport

_**xxxxx**_

_**At the airport**_

Schwarz always travels in style. No cramping with the masses in the economy class. Then there are other luxuries provided by their talents. They are never stopped by the customs officers – courtesy of Schuldig. Crawford checks what flights are safe and best to take. That means no accidents, minimal delays and their luggage never getting lost.

So the present situation is very unusual and Schuldig can't help but feel annoyed.

"My suitcase is missing!"

"You're holding it."

"The one with my clothes Nagi!"

"It was unavoidable," replays Crawford with a satisfied smirk.

"Was your green coat inside?" asks Farfarello hopefully.

_**xxxxx**_

_**The Case of the Flying Suitcase**_

It was an ordinary day on an ordinary airport filled with (mostly) ordinary people. A woman holding her small daughter was hurrying to her plane. What was a nuisance to her was an event for the girl who had never flown before.

"Look, Mom! That bag is flying!"

Kids and their imagination.

"Don't make things up! You are getting to old for this, Mary."

"But Mom – It's really flying! Look! The yellow one with stripes!"

"Mary Sue Ambers! Stop pointing! Behave yourself!"

"Oh. It landed now. But on a different cart."

Nagi smiled on the inside. Revenge was indeed sweet.

_**xxxxx**_

_**Lost & Found**_

Inconspicuous was the motto of their current job. So they tried to blend in as well as they could. Nagi traveled as Crawford's son, his age marked as appropriately younger and while Crawford and Farfarello were taking care of some business, Schuldig was abusing his role as a temporary guardian and draggigng Nagi from one shop in the duty-free area to the next.

Bored, Nagi slipped away, only to be found half an hour later by security, after the telepath reported him as missing.

"Inconspicuous," repeated Nagi to himself, gritting his teeth.

Crawford didn't appreciate having to pick him up.

Schuldig pouted and whined over his lost suitcase so Crawford finally helped him find that brightly striped excuse for a luggage.

The vacation was a reward for the team and now the bored brunette waited for his team-mate to unpack his last, rather tasteless, bag. He shuddered when he remembered all the people staring at this monstrosity (and them) at the airport.

"It's one of a kind!"

No wonder, he thought. Who else would buy such an ugly thing ...  
He looked at the outfit his friend pulled out of the case.

"When did you buy this coat? Youji?"

_**xxxxx**_

_**Rather conservative clothes**_

When Farfarello heard a loud scream he was expecting some excitement. People to kill or at least a giant spider. He found only Schuldig, staring at the contents of his suitcase. That would only explain the screaming if it was coming from anybody else.

Farfarello approached the telepath and peeked at the offending garments carefully.

"They don't bite!" snapped Schuldig.

"You can't be too cautious. Oh. These look good. What's wrong?"

"They are not mine, idiot!"

Schuldig turned his accusing gaze to Crawford, who appeared at the entrance. With happy expression that he tried hard to suppress on his face.

**xxxxx**

**... Or not.**

**xxxxx**

Crawford refused to drive him to the nearest town to buy new clothes. Schuldig discovered it was impossible to steal a car from a precog. Sure, he could walk. 45 km. Each way. After wearing the same outfit for three days he dug into the mysterious suitcase.

Nagi and Farfarello were very suspicious of the vision Crawford had during breakfast and of improvement of his mood after it. At eleven Schuldig showed up.

Farfarello stared.

Nagi dropped his tea and blushed.

"Crawford, lend me a shirt!" demanded the embarrassed German while trying to pull down the hem of his top.

"No."

_**end**_


	45. Your Every Wish NagiMamoru

"I want a raise." 

That was a surprise. Certainly not what Mamoru expected after he was dragged to his office for what Nagi claimed was an emergency meeting. Firstly, Nagi had more money than he did; it wasn't hard to guess where the majority of the missing Estet funds went. Secondly, well, he could have asked him at breakfast. Or later when they came home. 

"So, how much do you want?" 

"What? Oh. Yes. Nine percent." 

"Sure." 

Nagi sighed with disappointment. 

"This was the part where you were supposed to ask me what was I willing to do in return."

END


	46. Habits CrawfordSchuldig

Crawford's Habit

It was convenient. A daily intensive relaxation, sort of a nice very-very-very throughout massage. No hassle of looking for appropriate partners elsewhere and removing them after. No STD's. Schuldig wasn't someone he'd pick for a relationship or affair, but for _this_… His physical characteristics and skills fit just fine. So he used Schuldig's potential lovers as a 'creative killing' practice material. He was just making sure Schuldig was focused on h…job only. Soon there was only him in Schuldig's future. Perfect. They'd have time for personal life when they were old and rich. _Now_ they had a world to conquer.

Schuldig's Habit

The first time it happened because they were bored. Days of waiting for Estets instructions in a tiny apartment and then one morning Crawford just sort-of joined him in the shower. It was a bit weird at first, but he was flexible and all for the pleasant new experiences. He could do worse than tall-dark-handsome-deadly-and-going-places. Then it kept happening. He thought about trying someone new from time to time mainly to rile Crawford up but that never went anywhere. They were gone before he could even make a move. Whatever. He didn't need a lover. Crawford was more than enough.

END


	47. Once Just Isn't Enough Ran

It was becoming an addiction; his secret vice and his secret salvation. Ever since he discovered he could go _back_. He told himself over and over again, next time he'll choose a happier moment. But, this was it. The body collapsing, like in dreams, like in reality. He drank in the shocked expression, the fear twisting the ugly features into something even uglier. By now he had counted every drop of blood and it still wasn't enough. 

It had to be good enough to last him until the next time. Next time, when, just for him, Takatori would die again.

END


	48. The New Team Member Schwarz

He wonders how it'll be with another team-mate around. It was just him and Crawford for so long. Things will change now. The new guy looks awfully young. He was expecting someone older, more experienced. He has no idea why Crawford picked this one, but he's his leader and a seer and he has to trust him. Still, it'll be strange to see game-boys and candy all over the place. Well, he'll grow up. Eventually. Maybe. Nagi can help him mature. Be a positive influence. Yes. Right. Here they are. 

"Awwww, you're so cute!!!" 

Why is he pinching his cheeks?!

END


	49. His Teeth Ran Youji

And then Aya smiled. 

It was the first real smile they have ever seen on his face, honest, happy and open. That made it worse. 

They may have seen the darkest sides of human nature and fought terrible monsters, but nothing could prepare them for this. To their credit, they did (more or less convincingly) smile back at him. But the terrifying image haunted their dreams long after echoes of their victim's screams faded. It even survived Youji's amnesia, although he couldn't place it anymore and wrote it off as a unfortunate combination of horror films and too much alcohol.

END


	50. A Cigarette, Please! Ran Schuldig

**Notes: **Schuldig enjoys Aya's work.

xxxxx

Schadenfreude is a cherished emotion in Schwarz, but Schuldig is particularly known for bringing it to a whole new level.

_...yes..._

The naked fury of the avenger is sweet, but the rising fear of the pray is so much sweeter.

_...come on, faster..._

No where to run, no where to hide. Exits closing so slowly in front of him.

_...that's right, with a feeling..._

Now they see each other.

_...do it, baby!_

All that delicious pain.

_Inside. Harder._

Last hopes fading as the blood flows away. The bitter disappointment when the flames settle down - _this is it?_ Scream.

_Yes!!!_

END

Schadenfreude_ a malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of others._


	51. Of Cats and Men FarfarelloSchuldig

He had finally found his tribe. All of them fallen, lost and not desiring to be found any time soon. One would lead them on their Mission, one would make the angels weep and the third one... was interesting. Watching him all the time, never revealing his intentions in his deviously bright head. What-ever they were, Farfarello had a feeling he would approve.

Schuldig wasn't sure if it was all him or if the voices were interfering again, but it didn't matter. There were pleasant, alluring little caresses, a thought crystallising and taking over his mind: _'Purr for me, kitty!' _

_END_


	52. Weapon of Choice

_**I. Crawford: Chocolate**__ or __**All Shapes of Carrots**_

If Rosenkreuz only knew how much loyalty you could buy with carefully selected methods! You just had to get them while young. A bit more carrots than sticks. Carrots in this case being chocolate. Dark&Bitter for Nagi, White for Farfarello and anything, including exotic Japanese inventions, for Schuldig – when he was actually himself he liked things with nuts. It worked wonderfully; the team was efficient and obedient.

Then one day he entered his bedroom to find Schuldig, wearing a Ferrero Küsschen™ just south of his navel. And Crawford discovered how it felt to have your own weapon used against you.

_xxxxx_

_**II. Farfarello: Hate**__ or __**One Sunny Afternoon**_

He hated. It was the fuel that fed his existence, such as it was, and armour that made him strong enough not to be pulled among the sheep. His control over it was random, dependent on drugs, weather and distance from Rosenkreuz. Today it was sunny and he spent his day off on children's playground, one of his favourite spots for relaxation and recreation. Possibilities kept forming in front of his eyes – one moment they were laughing and plying and the next they were lying in the gutter, forever lost to the world.

But not today. He was unarmed, anyway.

_xxxxx_

_**III. Ken: Madness**__ or __**Slippery Slope**_

He didn't mean to jell at he kid who talked back at training. Or swear at Youji for deserting him in the shop again. Or punch the thug who considered hi man easy target. But he could control himself with them. His real anger was carefully stored and saved for more deserved.

At night he'll go out and rip apart Every. Fucking. Bloody. Beast they point out for him. Their lives are worthless and small price to pay for his sanity. Tension soothed, he'll wash the blood away and, after some sleep, be fresh and ready to face another day.

_xxxxx_

_**IV. Omi: Innocence** or **The New Kid in Town**_

They knew of the boy, of course – who didn't – but nothing could ease their minds more than meeting him. Shy, polite behaviour, huge, naive blue eyes and trusting smile were all that they could hope for. He even brought another kid with him, so that he wouldn't be bored among adults! He was a perfect figure for their gentle influence.

The older man in the expensive suit turned to his partner and whispered: »This child? No problem. Just leave it to me. We'll take over the company in no time! «

The youngest Takatori smiled at them from across the room.

_xxxxx_

_**V. Schuldig: Sadism** or **Everyone Needs a Hobby**_

_Worthless failure… everything was your fault, wasn't it? Wouldn't it be better to just end it? Slash right through the circle – it's the only way, really… Now!_

That would be number... 17; Another jumper – how conservative of him. Japanese have absolutely no imagination. At least this one fell on a car and made a nice splash. Who's next? Hmmm, not you… Not you… You could be interesting… Or not… Ha! This is just too good. You! Now why don't we get better acquainted, little red samurai? Let's go for seppuku this time!

_xxxxx_

_**VI. Nagi: Egoism** or **My Most Important Person**_

Maybe it's the routine he fell into over the years, but he doesn't notice them until it's much too late. Two on the roof, three in a car. Four bullets, more coming and there's only him and Mamoru, easy targets, no time to properly shield them both. Without a thought he reacts. There's blood everywhere, but what's done is done and right then it's all about revenge. He annihilates them and after, he turns to Mamoru and he knows it's the last time. That's all right, everything is fine now. Mamoru's son worships him. Now he can get that promotion.

_xxxxx_

_**END**_


	53. Mystery, a crossover AU series

**Mystery**, a cross-over drabble series

xxxxx

"Huh? Why the granny?! She amuses me." 

Why couldn't Schuldig just obey the order for once... 

"I thought the contract only included the old judge! Since when are _you_ for freebies? She's not even on the same floor so I'll have to make a detour and miss..." 

"You can reschedule your beauty salon." 

"Hair stylist. For the last time. Hair stylist." 

Good. Schuldig's attention successfully diverted. It was far preferable to explaining things to him. That could be embarrassing. Well, _Schuldig_ could _misinterpret_ it as embarrassing. 

It wasn't like Crawford couldn't handle her. 

He just didn't like any unnecessary complications.

Goodbye, Miss Marple.

xxxxx

»She's not in her right mind, poor dear. She thinks she's (whisper).« 

»Ooh!« The man's eyes widened. A dead gentleman and now this elderly lady… He had to come to the bottom of things. 

Crawford was fuming. How did he overlook this? This happened when he listened to Schuldig. Who seemed to be having a time of his life - especially after Miss Marple sat in his lap and began to feed him chocolates. 

_You overdid this, Schuldig._ But Schuldig ignored him for his newest 'lady-friend', of course. Back to the bigger problem – ugh, how he hated Frenchmen… 

»Belgian, Brad!« 

»Whatever.«

xxxxx

»The planted evidence burdening the poor disappeared Irish gentleman didn't fool me even for a second. It was someone much less obvious. In the end, we can see all clues point to…« 

Dramatic silence ensued. 

»…Mister Crawford.« 

Crawford glared at Schuldig who winked back.

»However, this, too, was only a clever deception of the true crime mastermind.« 

Schuldig concentrated harder. 

»You!« Poirot turned to the middle of the gathered crowd accusingly. 

»The real murderer is the butler!« 

There was a minute of silence and confused looks before the cook gathered the courage to speak: »But… We don't have a butler!«

xxxxx

Miss Marple couldn't help but worry. Her thinking wasn't what it used to be, but she still noticed the strange things going on. At first she thought it had all to do with the murder, but that got cleared by the nice Belgian and she still felt like something wasn't quite right. She hated to suspect people without proper evidence, however, no matter how she looked at things, it all came back to that unusual red haired young man. 

She would have to investigate it. She could go and buy a rose. 

Just as soon as Schuldig's scarf was finished.

_END_


	54. Yes, Prime Minister Mamoru Nagi Ran

_**Yes, Prime Minister**_

He would win, of course. They couldn't leave something that important to the masses to decide. He invested enough time, money and influence to guarantee the desired result. Now he could change the laws so that they would finally be right and fix problems at the root. He still had friends to help him. He was sure Aya would return when he heard and Ken and Youji would get better and then he would have time for family. Everything would be…

"Do we want the body found or not?"

"What?"

"The traitor."

"Oh. You know what's best for the situation."

_**Too Late**_

How awkward. They have been glaring at each-other ever since Mamoru abandoned them to take the call.

Finally Naoe spoke.

"You won't regret it. Thank you for not accepting his offer. With your influence he might get… confused."

Then he smirked. It looked so out of place on his face, yet so right. It made Aya sick and cold. He had to leave _now_.

As soon as the door slammed behind him, Mamoru dropped the phone and glanced inquiringly at Nagi.

"One Abyssinian, delivered as promised."

"Are you sure…"

Nagi just looked at him, and very slowly, Mamoru smiled.

_Good. _

**_end_**


	55. Intervention Youji Ken

Ken cut off another piece of gauze. The wound wasn't bleeding anymore, but Youji's face would still be out of commision for a while.

_»I'm covering your shift tomorrow, we don't want to scare your fans. But you better pay me back!« _

_»Sure. Thanks!« _

_Ken was such a good friend. _

_Good cook, too._

Huh? Where did that come from?

You know it.

No I don't. Do I? He glanced at his friend who was packing the medical kit.

So handy.

Well, yes… But…

He must look great naked.

What?! Although… NO! 

_He couldn't face Ken without blushing for a week. _

_END_


	56. Good Idea Schwarz

Nagi was clicking away in the background and Farfarello was watching his favourite soap. It was getting repetitive lately; they could at least throw in some scratching or hair-pulling to spice it up. There were passionate insults, wit and snark, gratuitous misuse of respective skills – but not even a slap.

"_No,_ Crawford! Forget it!"

Schuldig's voice had the shrill quality that could carry all over to China. There was only so much Nagi could take.

"_I can't work like this_. Get a room, you two!!!"

Crawford and Schuldig turned to him in shock. Then they looked at each other speculatively.

END


	57. Just Friends Omi Youji

"I know it was sad for you. With what happened to that girl. But you have to move on! You're so young, you should be enjoying the life!"

It was nice of Youji-kun to care, but Omi was certain he didn't quite get where the problem was. Yes, he grieved Ouka, but he had moved on a while ago.

"What about a dinner? Nothing romantic, just as friends, something to get you back into company."

Could it be… It was worth a try.

"Sure."

Youji gave him one of his gorgeous cheerful smiles.

"Great. I'll tell Akiko-chan you've agreed."

_Oh._

END


	58. Sweet as Peppermint Candy KenOmi

Today, Aiko-chan has brought Omi candy. Ken doesn't like her. She's a sweet girl, pretty in that plain teenage way and she hangs onto Omi like he's some pop star, not-so-subtely trying to get him to ask her out. Youji approves, but Ken knows she's trouble.

Now would probably be a good time to stop staring at Omi's lips, but the sugar has made them all glittery, glueing his gaze on them. Sugary stick pops out and they curve into mischevious smile.

"Hey, Ken-kun, you want a candy cane?"

Ken blinks, looks up and blushes. And Omi winks at him.

END


	59. Motivational Movie Nights

_»Fifteen! «_

»Aren't they sweet? Look at that team-work. «

Crawford snorted and turned back to Schuldig.

»It's chaos. I blame it all on you. «

_»Seventeen! «_

»A little friendly competition never killed anyone. Well, anyone important.«

Something exploded.

_»Five more for me – twenty! «_

_»Cheater… «_

Schuldig beamed.

»I have such good ideas. No, Crawford, don't complain, it's good for business! Just watch them - they are inspired. The work is practically getting itself done. «

It was impressive, frankly. After ten minutes they were already almost out of things to do.

_»Eighteen – hey, don't steal, the baldie is mine! Nineteen. «_

»Fine. Just don't buy Farfarello an axe. «

END


	60. Picture Perfect Crawford Schuldig

AN: Written for a prompt "Crawford and Schuldig, first working together".

Crawford knew everything about Schuldig before he even met him. He'd been seeing glimpses of red flames for as long as he could remember. A sleek predator, his to control. What a sight it was. Yes, now that he stood before him in-the-flesh, he still looked good. Hips slightly tilted, right arm dramatically extended, all that blond hair fluttering in the wind. The target had already wet himself.

_Now! _

And nothing. Not-yet-Schuldig stared at his Big&Shiny gun in confusion. Crawford sighed.

»Load the gun first. Come on. Just like we practiced. «

They still had to polish some rough edges.

END


	61. That Old Classic Youji Schuldig

There were things like cruel and unusual punishment and then there was Schuldig's singing. All the alcohol he was pouring into himself probably wasn't helping. Too bad Youji couldn't drink on the job, it would dull the horror of this. At least with the general intoxication no one seemed to notice him so he had good chances of getting out of here alive, if not actually killing his (equally drunk) target.

Another song ruined.

"More?"

The girls cheered.

»Let's see… Oh, here's one!«

Schuldig stared right at him as the music burst into the first chords of 'What's new, Pussycat'.


	62. And Then Farfie Licked a Knife arc

_**And Then Farfie Licked a Knife ARC **(As Guest-written by MaiNeko-Sama):_

_**xxx**_

_**The serious that premiered at **__**wk100**__**. I only wrote 1 at the start, but I was so touched by the support I had to write Moore!!111!! So here they are all, dedicated to al my fitfull riders, **___

_**much RABU, **__**♥**__** and XXX,**___

_**U-r MaiNeko-sama**_

**xxx**

**Title: And Then Farfie Licked a Knife**  
**Characters:** Aya-kun, mysterious OOC  
**Notes:** Not a MarySue, Don't Like don't reed!! Rewiew with unconditional love and I will dedicate the next one to you - please include the desired hair-color in fit back (no Serpentinte with Phonylite streaks, that's **mine**!!) !!!!!!!!!8!!!!!!!!!!!

Life was so unfair. What good was his ethernal beauty if there was no-one to worship it (fangirls don't count)? Youji took off with _a woman_, Omi was lusting after his shrimp Schwarz bodyguard and Ken was bo-ring.

A single tear slid down his cheek. And another single tear. And another. It began to rain.

Then along came Rhododendron-chan Ashphyxiya-sensei Powerpoint-sama, gorgeous half-Japanese-half-American-half-Veela-super-model (_/AN: Nagi's second cousin, Takatori's REAL daughter and Crawford's secret childhood crush_), offered him an umbrella, a night of unforgettable passion and a style make-over; they lived happily-ever-after, killing people together.

OVARII.

that's Japanese for 'read&**REWIEW**'

**xxx**

**Title: And Put Tomatos in a Blender**  
**Characters: **Abby-kun, all the VICE and a lot of OOC!!  
**Notes:** Just for U, the mistress of Victorian Authoressess, **digger**-sama-sense!! More OOC :DDDD!

It wasn't always perfect. Ragdoll (that was Abby-kun's pet name for her) had hard time defending her virtue from her Abby's team-mates (not that she wouldn't be able to take them, but she was just soft hearted like this) who lusted after her voluptious natural curves on her tall model-thin size -4 body and her lucius blond heir. Her Dahrling got rid of them, threatning them away with his Big sword and they discovered her three childhood friends Marsshuttle, Velvet Onigiri and Tiffany McNeil were much better substatues (they even got on the cover of Vouge).  
Eh, Aya who?!

**xxx**

**Title: Because it HURT GOD!**  
**Characters: **EVERYBODY!! Even the uglies!!  
**Notes:** For expirational **yohjisranger**. RABU, RABU U!!!! All the cherries!!!! And some Yaoy!

Schwartz loved her too. Except Farfy,who wasn't pretty enough. He fell in love with Sakura and Aya-chan and took them away on the other side of the planet (I♥Europe, Paris and Italy and Rum and they can send expensive parfume). But she was faithfull to her Yooyiii, so she left the rest of them to her friends. Nagi (too short) and Crawford (oooold and yuck, four-eyes) remainded alone so they got married in front of the Washington monument. Rag-chan sang at the wedding a love song from her platinum selling album: All About Me. Then Schruderichii proposed to Her.

**GENKI OWARI!**

**(see – there is yaoWii here too, so Everybody can review).**

**xxx**

**Title: But SallySue Converted Him!**  
**Characters: **Schu-Schu-Chan/OOC  
**Notes:** For the wonderful authoresss **gultyrid**-sama!!!!!!

Our heroin couldn't expect Schroderiche's offer, since she was faithfully inloved with her Omi who had much more mooney. So she offered him as a price in a 'write-best-manifesto-pricing-ME-and-mine-achiefments'. He was 1 by authoress glintyread (thets U Hony!!!!); they all had joint-wedding. On their wedding-week SchuSchu-chan and Grinty Schooldick had such a fantastic sex it was telephatically transmited truowt the world and everybody fell in love. And there was peace on Earth under bennyviolent rule of Queen Rodentia-chan Ashaleya-kun Powderpin-duma, known thereafter as Prefecta I. (after she dies she reincarnated herself into her daughter Prefecta II. and so on).

_**OVARI**_

**xxx**

**Title: Epilogue: The $****€****xxx that Made All God's Creatures Weep**  
**Characters: **Schu-Schu-chan/OOC  
**Notes:** PVC squeek side-story, written for the wonderful authoresss **gultyrid**-sama!!!!!! **Not save!! C-17 ('cause they both agreed to **_**do it**_** and are ****married** I wrote that after launch, instead of my afternun nap, so their may be some mystakes, but don't!!!! **F1ame!!****Me!!!!!**

Glitzyrod Schroderick's Rosenquarz met Schludicks shiny amphybolythe orbits (him thinking of Rags all the time, but enjoying him non-the-more). The bridle was wearing VictorianSecrets lace-silk-lycra-morelace-tulle-with-bows-&-ruffies-with-thongues-and-shpanspagespaggety-strapps and the grom was wearing designer Gothic Leather Pants (an/ I have to buy them! I saw them last weak at the ma11!!), that nicely displaid his 120-cm-stain-less-still-hard-man-hod, ribbed for her pressure. They disappeared at the sight of her quacking cleavage (FF) and then the carrot-head un-laced her brow with his teeth. Gritty-chan screamed for Marcy: Faster!! Higher!!!! Stronger!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111!

Then they had lots of baby's who served under Prefecta IIV. And her man Justin Timberlake Jr.

**_The Ovariest Ovarii_**


	63. Later there was screaming

AN: Written for the "At the movies" challenge

**Later, there was screaming**

Now, this was too much. As if the insistent chattering, accompanied by hysterical laughter, wasn't enough. He really, really didn't need to hear how the axe scene could be done better, and, more importantly, Lili wasn't appropriately scared and in a mood for hugging anymore, she was actually starting to turn an ugly green and … Enough. Time to earn some points for later. He tapped the shoulder of the long haired guy.

»Hey, some of us are trying to watch a movie here.«

The jerk turned around. They both turned.

He felt scared for the first time that evening.


	64. The End

Now the world was his to take

Now the world was his to take. As were all of Estet's bank accounts, properties… Still, Crawford couldn't shake the chilly feeling. He couldn't see anything. No future at all.

So this was the room where the civilisation's downfall was plotted. It looked good with all the blood on the floor. In the background he could hear his team celebrating the well won war, Schuldig's voice drowning the others.

»Look! They actually had a great big red button, just like proper evil overlords! I wonder …«

»Don'

PS: Several billion years later life is ready to leave the sea again.


	65. Of Predators and Prey Schuldig Youji

Schuldig is quite fond of cats. They are much more interesting than dogs, for one. More vicious, too. Scratching and trying so hard to be tough. Kittens of Weiß make their species proud. They play irresponsibly with real weapons, real people, real power, while only being able to mew. Perhaps bite a little bit. The last part doesn't make them any more frightening but it makes them more delicious in their firm conviction of their own competence. Scratch, scratch.

Except that one. That one is definitely a grown up cat. Full grown tom at that. Mrowwwr. Schuldig licks his lips.


	66. A, AB, 0, A, 0, Farfarello Ran AU

**Title: A+, AB-, 0, A-, 0, B+, ...  
**Notes: AU - Fujimiyas were not killed, the sister is (still) alive and healthy. Written for Holiday Exchange.

In the end, he couldn't keep it from her. They were too close, and she found his letters beneath the floorboards, underneath tatami, under his bed.

_So many_, she said and gazed at him with those terrified eyes. She was too young to understand. The foreigness scared her, the sometimes erratic script, but most of all, the colour. _That someone would bother to find the exact shade ..._

He was glad she couldn't read the English words since she wouldn't understand how their connection worked, how their souls were bound to each other.

He was glad she thought it was ink.


End file.
